From Jonathan Klotz
| Published
Romantic comedy used to be a mainstay of theater, and there are many accusations that it is now a life-sustaining genre, but I lay the blame squarely on that Actually love. It was once considered the greatest romantic comedy of all time and one of the best romantic films of all time, but today it is rightly recognized as a terrible film with terrible messages about terrible people doing terrible things to each other. But every year the film lands in the streaming top ten with the same grim inevitability as Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas.
There would actually never be love today
There are ten different stories throughout Actually loveand admittedly some are pretty sweet and endearing, starting with a down-on-his-luck musician Mack (Bill Nighy) who suddenly has another hit and decides to spend Christmas with his manager Joe instead. It’s short, simple and about friendship. If the film had more stories like this or the story of John (Martin Freeman) and Judy (Joanna Page) that captures the awkwardness of a new relationship then it would be a classic film for all the right reasons, but instead there are two stories, who drag the whole thing into the mud.
Juliet (an 18-year-old Keira Knightley) and Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor) are newlyweds when it turns out that Mark (Andrew Lincoln) is in love with his best friend’s new wife. Mark admittedly admits that it’s adorable with printed cards and a boom box, but in any other film he would be the villain or Peter would turn out to be abusive, rather than here where he shows himself to be a loving, caring spouse. Actually love However, she manages to go even further and has Juliet give Mark a kiss after his confession. Although she doesn’t accept him and doesn’t leave her husband, she still kisses her new husband’s best friend instead of telling him to get off her lawn.
Mark’s confession has been considered a sweet romantic moment in dozens of Hollywood montages, but as insidious as it may seem, it’s not as problematic as history’s most infamous plot twist Actually love. Hugh Grant plays David, the Prime Minister of England who receives the American President, played by Billy Bob Thorntonwhen the President makes lewd comments about Natalie, one of the British staffers. Things get even worse when Natalie lets David know she loves him and they actually give in and kiss, despite the obvious problem of a boss getting involved with one of his employees.
These are just four of the ten stories, which also include a brief rendezvous that would fit into any romantic comedy: a British man who realizes he is an exotic foreigner to women in America and ends up coming home from a bar, in which women are played by him January Jones and Elisa Cuthbert to her roommate, Shannon Elizabeth, and a sweet story about a father and son who both discover love. After watching Harry Potterone Actually love The cheating story is fun on one level, and one level only, because Alan Rickman cheats on Emma Thompson. So imagine Professor Snape cheating on Professor Trelawney.
Love actually misses the point
There is an argument that the purpose of Actually love shouldn’t be a feel-good experience romantic comedy but rather a way to show the messiness inherent in all relationships. On that level it’s a complete failure, considering the epilogue shows David, again the Prime Minister of England, kissing his younger employee, and Peter, Mark and Julia are all at the airport waiting for a boyfriend, meaning that no Someone told Peter what had happened. Normally I try not to give anything away, but we’re only on this planet for a limited time, and to be precise, you shouldn’t spend any of it watching this movie.
Actually love murdered the romantic comedy and somehow convinced director Garry Marshall, who had nothing to do with the film, that there was money to be made in this format, but referenced other holidays and gave us Valentine’s Day in 2010, New Year’s Eve in 2011 and Mother’s Day in 2016. There are better options out there, although I have to admit that New Year’s Eve is probably the best of the bunch, and like most romantic comedies, there are still parts that don’t hold up, but nothing is nearly as bad as the 2003 film.
If you want to watch Actually love To see how bad the movie really is and how terrible most of the characters are, find it on Amazon Primewhere it has been in the top ten for a few days. Instead, it would be helpful if you stream a better Christmas movie, for example Christmas with the cranks or Four Christmasesboth are better than Actually love.